Homemaker CEOGrowing Spiritually, Personally, and Professionally

Thriving in Homemaking with Teresa Lusk founder of Homemaker CEO, Motivational Speaker, and author of Good Enough to be a Homemaker and CEO.

Story Inspired by True Events

 She got a call, the one she dreaded receiving, but suspected she would one day receive based on her teen’s history. The man said,  “Your son is in jail”. He was kid with good grades, handsome good looks, but a weakness to pressures of his peer group.

 With such a challenging economy, no luck in finding a job to purchase the desires of his fashion habits, the kid stole some clothes from a store and got busted. Parents, angry as expected, but with a heavy heart, decided to let him do his time after serious debate. If they bailed him out, he would do it again or end up in the penitentiary later for greater offenses. The lesson needed to sink into his heart, mind, and soul, and his character needed to be shaped by a life lesson in self control, honesty, and integrity (Proverbs 19:18).

 Children and teens will be challenged to make decisions which will cause a parent to be proud or question their kid’s character. No one wants their children making poor decisions because they are afraid that their kids will be hurt by the circumstances. Frankly, as parents, they don’t want to feel the pain of their children’s decisions either.

Yet the circumstances must be experienced so that when pressures come at them again and again, they will be ready to choose wisely because their character has shaped by prior consequences.

 Getting through the hurtful moments of watching children choose for themselves is no easy task. However, it is manageable by keeping a small list of truths in mind beginning with, do not take it personal. Parents have sounded off, “How could he/she have done this to me?” Most of the time, the offenses kids carry out are not devised with how they can hurt their parents. It is about what they want and how they can get it. Follow that by knowing that until the children are fully grown and living for the Lord, parents are in the battle field with the enemy for their child’s souls and integrity. Daily prayer for them regarding their walk with the Lord, a righteous heart, and wisdom as a parent could easily be prioritized. Mom’s and dad’s should not be afraid to reach out for a prayer partner or support from others who have been through some of the similar trials (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). It can not go without saying, that finally, parents can not play the self blame game. So many could of, should of’s, but most of them know the basics of making a good decision.

 Teresa G. Lusk, is the author of, Good Enough to be a Homemaker and CEO™, and is a Motivational Speaker. She resides in McKinney, TX with her husband and children. Visit www.teresalusk.com.

 Scripture quotations are taken from the New International Version of The Holy Bible, as displayed at http://www.biblegateway.com.

busy
tired
has her own problems
has her stuff straight and I will look like a drama mama if I share
she won’t understand
she doesn’t care
she’s never been through this
her life is perfect
she’s succeeding
she never has worries
she never goes out without brushing her hair or putting on makeup
she’s always positive and never complains
she’s too spiritual and I know nothing or not enough
she’s not spiritual enough

Ever hear these thoughts in your heard about others? I certainly do and
know many who do as well. We often fall into a trap when we’re feeling
down about life, business, marriage,  raising kids and others. Certainly
we are the only ones who know what is like right? NOT!

The truth is more people around you and me are going through something
similar than not. These past two weeks I have had the opportunity to
discover that this lonesome time of questioning my career path and other
goals in life are shared by many women around me.

For some it is a time to reevaluate the path we are taking for others it
is just a winter season and we will come into a spring. This is not a
passport to quit or hide. It is also not a right to have a ditty party all
by ourselves. God word says in Ecclesiastes 4:10-11 (New International
Version)

10 If one falls down,
       his friend can help him up.
       But pity the man who falls
       and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
       But how can one keep warm alone?

As a leader I have a tenancy to hide my feelings thinking that no one
should see my struggles lest I damper thier own spirit and self-esteem,
but that too is not right. I am human as we all are and need a support
system to be used so that when we fall, someone can lift us up spiritually
and personally.

So, with this being said, please reach out to someone today or soon. You
can do that by just dropping emails to one another, praying for each
other, setting up play dates and just inviting people to show up.

You never know who you will meet. It may be someone who just came out of
their wilderness and has soemething to share or someone who is in it that
could benefit from your experiences.

Thank you for allowing me to be transparent and I pray you all will reach
out to one another soon.

God Bless,

Teresa Lusk

I Want to Love You Better, ___________________________________!

How can I love you better?

With my words:

With my actions:

 With my attitudes:

 With my time:

With my money:

 How have I hurt you with my words, actions, attitudes, use of time, or use of money? [I need to ask your forgiveness and pray I’ll change.]

 Our  Prayers are Powerful! 

 James 5:16 – “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

 Colossians 4:12b – “He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.”

How can I wrestle in prayer for you more specifically?

What are your struggles?

What are your desires and dreams?

This survey was produced by speaker, Julie Earl, with Julie Earl Ministries. You may contact her at Julie_Earl@att.net. You may print it for your use.

A Sinking Ship without Love and Respect

 “He does not make me feel loved,” and, “She is disrespectful and a nag,” are common complaints I hear often. Interestingly, these two things all spouses desire from each other, love and respect, are the exact two commands given to us in God’s Word. A man is to love his wife and a woman is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:25 ). With these key components missing, there’s no need to ask why marriages are falling apart. We should ask why we can not overcome the repetitive failure in delivering to one another.

The answer is two-fold; our hearts get hardened (Mark 10:15) followed by lack of knowledge to what each of those commands mean. We believe we understand what love and respect are but many marriages do not recognize that they fail at giving love and respect in their day-to-day doings and communication. This leads to a sinking ship.

No ship is beyond rescuing, however, because if the Lord offers grace to us, we can offer it to our spouses. You and I are told to forgive as we are forgiven (Luke 6:37). Without compromise and giving from both sides we can not expect change and restoration. If only one spouse is willing to break the cycle of miscommunication and ugliness, then it is a good place to start.

From personal experience, I testify that there have been times when I have been less than kind in my response to my husband because of my annoyance at him. Yet, when his response to my attitude was a loving one, I softened my own heart then became humble and regretful instantly. Proverbs 15:1 states that a kind word turns away wrath but a grievous word stirs up anger.

 Let’s begin working. What does the love a wife needs look like? Love is expressed differently including verbally acknowledging that the wife is pretty, desirable, and smart. The more a woman is cared for, the more she will give back because she feels good about herself.

Helping around the home is always a sign that the man cares. Some couples have assigned responsibilities and the man may say, “She stays at home; I work outside of the home, she needs to take care of this.” This may be true, but love can be expressed by the sacrifice that the husband offers unconditionally. At times both spouses work and his willingness to split the house work speaks volume.

Very importantly, find out what makes her feel special. Not all people have the same love language as Gary Chapman states in the Five Love Languages. Some women feel more loved receiving gifts, or, when the husband shares public display of affection, or when he compliments her in public. However, a husband should not assume what makes her feel loved because most of us will express our love to one another how we would like to receive it, not how the spouse needs to receive it.

A woman needs more than a wink to become available to her husband for intimacy. Loving a wife is expressed in the way her husband considers how she is wired. This means preparing her for intimacy does not begin the day the man anticipates oneness. Wives do not like feeling used and unloved by the lack of attention she gets before love-making. For best results, ask her how, when, where, and how long.

A childhood friend of mine mentioned, “My husband helps around the house with chores I don’t need help with. I could use help outside mowing the lawn and killing ant piles.” She should have used her words to communicate that, also; it would have been more affective if he asked what she needed from him. In summary, asking what the spouse really needs could solve many problems. If every time you want to communicate, things get heated, invite an objective mediator who understands God’s Word regarding love and respect, and doesn’t not favor one or another.

As for the famous “nagging” charge against wives, meaning, when she repeats herself, she does not feel heard. Eye contact followed by words of acknowledgement cause her to feel understood and reassured that the husband cares about her concerns and feelings. More times than not, the issue at hand will be put to rest.

I asked a couple before they divorced two years ago what they fought about. I expected to hear it was addictions, even adultery. Sadly, it was an accumulation of anger and frustration over communications between the two, but they made him feel less than the leader of the home.

Often, she directed him to get breakfast for the kids, proceeded to tell him what to feed them, including the types of foods, drinks, and well ladies, you know where I am going. Men feel respected when we ask if they can handle something for us, rather than instruct him. “Honey would you pick up some milk on the way home?” works much better than, “I need you to pick up milk after work.” Yes, they do mean the same thing, but to a man, it means two different things. One is a request, the other a command. Wives with strong leadership abilities express these tendencies more but like a counselor once said, “God gave you a leadership ability to use outside of the home and needs to be turned down when dealing with your husband.” 

Another husband would often remind his wife that she made more money than him and he seemed to resent her. Most of us would probably think he needed to overcome that insecurity but it was deeper. He interpreted this message by her prior comments on being able to do well enough alone. He didn’t feel valued, respected, or needed.

Men are emotional beings too and need to know they are valued but in different areas than women. They are wired to desire hard work and be proud of their accomplishments. Remind them what a great job they do at providing. If both spouses work you can still remind him of his great efforts such as his handiness around the home, caring for the lawn, they way he loves on his children, and his attention in satisfying you.

Sex is emotional for men, not just physical. They express themselves physically and they desire to connect with their wives. It is healthy for wives to understand the needs of their husbands as a God-given desire and not just some random act to pass time with. Couples should honor one another with their bodies.

Now that each spouse has been given a glimpse of love and respect, why not start fresh making it your resolution to shape your marriage up and avoid the sinking ship?

Teresa G. Lusk is the author of Good Enough to be a Homemaker and CEO, a Motivational Speaker, and has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology, Religion, and Christian Counseling. www.teresalusk.com

Most of us are familiar with the name Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. This inspirational woman had wisdom in many areas of life including business and family.

 As I read her book recently titled, Mary Kay: Mary Kay: You Can Have It All: Lifetime Wisdom from America’s Foremost Woman Entrepreneur, a motivational read, I became familiar with life principles she ran her business by. Mary Kay mentioned that at her company, they made it a point to praise women so much that they would eventually believer in themselves and would become successful. Now I am sure that Mary Kay applied this to her family life as well.

 Through this book I was challenged to become more aware of the praises that I am or am not giving my children. We all want our kids to be successful, and I am hardly talking about financially as the rest of the world defines success, but personally, spiritually, and emotionally.                 

Not only can we praise our children to success but also our husbands who are sent out into the world day by day to deal with rejection, competition, and disappointment and are expected to deal with it unemotionally, unlike women. What about the women who are taking on several roles in one day as mothers, wives, friends and employees or business owners? They need praises too! 

What if as a family we made it a point to speak one or more uplifting comments to each family member per day? If each person said one nice thing daily, we would have a collection of encouragement to live by in our day to day life,  therefore, driving us to the likeliness of success.

When we hear from others that we are doing great at work, school, or home, we become encouraged to do a better job or to keep up the good work we are already doing but didn’t recognize. For some, just realizing and acknowledging that we are good enough in what we were called to do brings a sigh of relief and allows us to accept ourselves for who we are. 

One great principle that can lay the foundation for giving this praise is to apply the Golden Rule as Mary Kay mentions throughout her book. This is the driving force of that company. If we treated our kids and spouses like we would want to be treated, literally, we would praise them day and night. 

The challenge for today and the coming days is? Praise your family more than you criticize or correct and see what walls of self-conceived limitations will break apart in their lives and yours. Success can look that good! 

Teresa G. Lusk, is the author of Good Enough to be a Homemaker and CEO, a motivational speaker, and founder of the non-profit organization, Homemaker CEO. Teresa has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology, Religion, and Christian Counseling. www.teresalusk.com or www.homemakerceo.com.

Resources:

Mary Kay Ash: You Can Have It All. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.

1. Know your camera and what it can and can’t do (read the manual and practice =)) With a point and shoot you need to anticipate your child’s action because of  its  slower shutter speed. With a SLR you have more freedom to shoot continuously quickly.
2. Keep your camera out and available- if it’s in its bag in your purse you will miss  candid shots of your kids, keep it on the mantel or on the kitchen counter so you can grab it quickly when they are doing something cute =)
3. Capture your kids doing what they love- while outside take photos inconspicuously as they play in the sand or blow bubbles, inside- peek around the corner while they are engrossed in building lego swords or bouncing on their horse.
4. Look at the results you are getting- too much flash- go into your menu and dial down the flash power to make the photos more natural looking, kids blinking or red eye- try to take the shot again- don’t assume the shot was good- check it!!
5. Keep the kids clothing and the background simple- it will draw your eye to the subject rather than to all the other possible distracting elements- mantels, bookshelves, picture frames-Look at your subject and be aware of your background.
6. Get down to the child’s eye level and take the photo or even better get on the floor and shoot up at them; it creates  a much more engaging photo.
7. Use natural light when possible- disable your flash and have them play near a large window and shoot away.
8. Know how to use your self-timer. You want to be in some photos with your family. (even if you think you don’t) Make it a fun tradition or game to set up the camera and be super serious or funny all together.
9. Shoot, shoot, shoot- the more photos you take the better you will get at taking them and it also  increases the likelihood of  getting a “great shot” =)

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Tips by Karis Johnston- mom of 3.5, lover of photography =)

www.karisjohnstonphotography.com